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[presgarddihellis]

[Action | Prayers]

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LOTM SPOILERS LOL

[presgarddihellis]

Did they... look famailiar to you?

the way I haven't understood a single spoiler in this series. nods.

[ordimame]

[hah]

[so it hadn't just been coincidence. it wasn't just his brain trying to recognize a pattern where there wasn't one]

. . . yeah.

But I thought that was just me.

thats how it be mysteries

[presgarddihellis]

[he's toeing so many lines here but also his throat is tight because he also had the same reaction until a certain fucker taking him to a certain city in the Lands Forsaken By God.

he shakes his head.]

There's no crude oil... because crude oil wasn't what it was thought to be. And when that entity woke... everything was destroyed.

And the ones who left such a thing buried so long... if my real body is here, then there are only two half-Pillars holding the barrier keeping those things from finishing it.

[that's his home. always was. even if the time is wrong.]

I'm the only full Pillar maintaining it.

[there's another layer to his fear but we don't have to dig into THAT. that's a perpetual existential threat]

jazz hands

[ordimame]

[the questions come naturally. what entity? how long ago, compared to my own Earth's history? . . . exactly how catastrophic was this event? and yet, he doesn't voice a single one, because now is not the time. now is not the place. the thinly veiled strain lacing Smith's words is enough to stop him in his tracks; especially when he realizes what it is Smith is clinging to, here]

[. . . better to be afraid of losing control. . . than of losing your entire home. right?]

[. . .]

. . . all right.

[his only response, after a moment of contemplative silence]

Then I won't take that thought any further.

[presgarddihellis]

[he already lost home once and it thoroughly wrecked him until Miss Justice helped him pick up the pieces. doing that again with no Psychiatrist around... no... it's not a good thought.

he'd so much rather be a marionette who could be cut off at any second, lose control at any moment than go through that again alone after putting so much into rebuilding already.

Klein's not sure how much Puck actually understands, but there is a palpable kind of relief that there aren't more questions, that he doesn't have to risk his curse giving more up... he's still tense, there's still that strain from having to even come close to mentioning things that are, truly, cursed, but...]

Thank you.

[ordimame]

[he lapses into silence after that, gaze flickering down, washing across the bagel he had procured for himself for breakfast]

[. . .]

[nudges it a little in Smith's direction]

You haven't eaten yet, have you?

[presgarddihellis]

[looks at bagel...]

Not yet, no.

[needs more protein.

getting a plate to get some eggs. you know. those scrambled ones that look suspiciously congealed. protein is protein.

but also he will take half the bagel and then push it back at Puck.]

[ordimame]

[settling comfortably with his coffee as Smith gets up to fetch himself some eggs. and when half the bagel is pushed back to him, he raises a brow]

Dude. . . I could just get another.

[and yet, he still takes it. takes a bite out of its crips, toasted edges as he leans back in his chair and lapses into silence]

[giving Smith some time to come down from that emotional mountain, of course]

[presgarddihellis]

[dude, don't comment on my very obviously emotional behavior? rude?

but he is taking the time to pick over breakfast foods to get his emotions to settle, yes.



...

ok, new point to gripe about: where is the rice...

sighs and gets sausage. more protein. and some orange juice. going back over to sit.]

[ordimame]

[he is just saying!!]

[are we gonna sit here and eat breakfast in comfortable silence. that's fine with Puck, if it's what Smith wants to do]

[presgarddihellis]

[what does someone say after revealing something like that????

he's been saying so much lately and that's one of the things he's tried his hardest to keep under wraps even if it plagues him every. day.

...





kicks Puck in the shin.]

1/2

[ordimame]

[STARTLED YELP???]

[ordimame]

-- hey! What the hell?!

[that hURT]

[presgarddihellis]

I didn't even hear anything incriminating from your prayer but somehow you heard much more.

[taking a bite of egg.

angy.

sad.

homesick and lonely.

but mostly angy now.]

[ordimame]

[oh]

[. . . . . . . oh. . . .]

[stares down at his half-eaten bagel, guilt suddenly tugging at the pit of his stomach]

[. . .]

. . . is. . . there anything you'e been-- I don't know. Wanting to ask me?

[presgarddihellis]

[... he wasn't thinking this far ahead. and it shows.

he does think to ask it: why were you praying so late in the first place? but no. there's probably a slew of reasons to it.

honestly, this kind of petty behavior is beneath a god at his level, and yet...

after a moment of quiet:]

... nothing that I would want you to answer unwillingly.

I'm just... frustrated.

[ordimame]

[simply]

If I don't want to answer, then I won't. It's that easy.

[propping his chin against his palm]

Try me. Channel that frustration into the worst interrogation you can muster up.

[presgarddihellis]

[how lucky that it's so easy..., he somehow manages not to say.]

... then, just why are you so defensive in some areas? It's not just you being naturally reactive.

[ordimame]

[. . .]

That depends on what areas you're talking about.

[presgarddihellis]

I understand the "I can handle it" line--most people do say things like that, even if they don't have experience with the levels I'm speaking toward.

... but you do seem to assume that people are thinking certain ways about your capabilities?

[getting the kitten to fluff is only fun if he knows he's not hitting on some deep-seated self-esteem problem or something, okok.]

[ordimame]

[ah. that]

. . . dude. Just look at me.

[leans back. gestures to all of him. his tone is wry]

If people are making assumptions about my abilities, they're not wrong. I am the worst guy to pick for some spooky getaway in a haunted, run-down school.

[presgarddihellis]

And I used to be a software engineer who ended up in the body of a history and linguistics graduate.

[buddy, there are fewer people less prepared for what he went through?]

I may tease but I'm certainly not thinking you're incapable.

[ordimame]

[oh]

[blinks]

. . . thanks.

[genuine, but he does look a bit unsure about it himself]

I'm-- trying not to be dead weight.

[presgarddihellis]

You're not dead weight just because you don't have experience or "appropriate" skills.

Think of it like being hired to a new job.

It's just imposter syndrome.

1/2

[ordimame]

[taking a moment to math lady meme why Smith would be saying all of these nice things to him]

[. . . . . . . STARES DOWN AT HIS HALF-EATEN BAGEL]

I'll-- [. . .] . . . remember that. And try not to be so. . . defensive. About it.

[. . .]